Through the Worlds
by quirkly
Summary: Basic "Earth girl in Middle-earth story" told with my bizarre sense of humour...if that's what you can call it. RR, please!
1. Intro

"Why don't we go into this one?"  
  
Emma walked with Rhia into an antique bookstore in a side alley. The door was old and had a badger on it, so it was a good sign, but the store itself didn't have the most appealing quality. Emma felt a mysterious pull towards it. She stepped inside and nearly gagged from the amount of dust hovering in the air.  
  
"Excuse me, sir" Emma heard Rhia speak up. "Do you have The First Drafts of Tolkien?" They had been searching all day for it, and not a single bookstore in Montreal had it.  
  
"As a matter of fact, I just got a copy in today off of E-Harbor, or something of the sort." Emma thought he looked a fair bit like Gandalf, but the idea quickly passed out of her mind when Rhia elbowed her.  
  
"I told you we'd find it!" she whispered excitedly.  
  
"Ladies, if you'll follow me into the back, I'll show you the book." The followed him into an extremely small room, but they could see up the three stories of books to the skylight at the top.  
  
He handed them the book. It was leather bound with Elvish embossed upon the front, reading:  
  
~With the chosen words and gentle hand, you shall travel to another land~  
  
Rhia opened the book up to find Tolkien's spidery handwriting and the first sketches of Middle-Earth.  
  
"Look!" Rhia said. "There's the Shire!" She placed a finger on the west portion of the map.  
  
"And there's Mirkwood too!"  
  
"I think that's supposed to-" Emma was cut off by Rhia, who heard the old man mumbling.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
Those were the last words Emma heard as the room began to spin and she was swept up and away. 


	2. Meeting Boromir

"Dear God! It feels like I've been thwapped by at least half of the people on the board!"  
  
Emma stood up and looked around. There were mountains to her left, and a forest not too far ahead of her. The rest was grassland.  
  
"Halt!" The command came sharply. She whipped around to see some guy with greasy hair and strange clothes riding towards her.  
  
He drew his sword. "Are you friend or foe? Speak now!"  
  
"Sure is pushy," Emma thought. As she check him out, she noticed the ornate horn hanging from his hip, and suddenly understood.  
  
"My name is Emma, Boromir of Gondor, and I am a friend. May I ask where you have traveled from?"  
  
"From Minas Tirith, good sir-"  
  
"Watch your mouth, buddy! Just because my hair happens to be the same length as yours' doesn't mean I'm a guy! Gah!" she snapped back.  
  
He blushed. "I, I'm sorry, my lady, but it is not common for a woman to show up in the wild." He looked sincerely sorry, and somewhat embarrassed.  
  
"Meh, that's okay. So, you've come from Minas Tirith?"  
  
"Yes, but I left there many days ago. I am traveling to Rivendell to speak with Elrond." He explained.  
  
Emma put on her best sexy voice. "If you take me with you, I'll reward you...handsomely" and leaned up against his horse.  
  
Boromir sat stunned and slack-jawed for a moment, then suddenly came to.  
  
"Of, uh, course you can come! You can, uh, ride with me!" His voice sounded oddly high-pitched. He extended a trembling hand, and pulled her up behind him, his horn jabbing into her solar plexus.  
  
"It's gonna be a long ride." Emma said to herself. 


	3. A Gift

Emma and Boromir had been traveling for a week before they came to a village. They put the horse in a stable, and stepped into the inn, a noisy place that smelled of sweat and ale. They walked up to the counter, and were greeted by Meliath, an ogre of a man with graying hair and an apron that looked as if it were glued to him.  
  
"What can I do for you, my lords?" Emma began to speak, but a grab of the wrist quickly shut her up.  
  
"A room, good sir, and a favor."  
  
"And will I get in return for a favor?" the innkeeper didn't look like the type of person who bargained easily.  
  
"Why, the praise of your inn and your ale to everyone I meet!" Boromir replied, fairly confident that he had won Meliath over.  
  
"Then any favor you ask will be granted. Business has been slow as of late, and I could use good words from people like you." Meliath seemed to be willing to do anything for them now.  
  
Boromir turned to Emma. "Why don't you go upstairs to a room and get some rest. I will meet you there in a while."  
  
"Alright," Emma thought. "Can't argue with that." The scarcity of food and lack of sleep had made her nauseous over the last few days, and she was looking forward to sleeping on a soft bed.  
  
When she awoke, Emma found Meliath setting a meal on the table next to the window.  
  
"He has gone to inquire about an extra horse. He left a while ago, but he'll be back soon."  
  
She sat up to notice a large, heavy package at the foot of her bed.  
  
"He left that for you. Said you'd need it. I'll let you be. If you need anything, I'll be downstairs."  
  
He turned and left, hitting his head on the doorframe on his way out. Emma stepped out of bed and, after taking a drink of the water Meliath had left, went to open the package.  
  
"Sweetness!" she cried out. A delicate looking sword lay on top of its sheath. "I really will need this!" she thought. After swirling the sword around a few times, and knocking a chunk out of the bedpost, Emma noticed that there was something else in the package. A pile of soft blue material fell to the floor. 


	4. Orcs

"I thought it might help you to be, uh, recognized as a female." Boromir explained, as they sat around a small fire.  
  
"I appreciate it. It was very kind of you, but I doubt it will prove as useful as the sword." Emma said. The dress was warm though, much warmer than the jeans and T-shirt she had been wearing when she arrived. They were very near to Rivendell now, and had met with one or two orcs, but they had been dealt with with ease.  
  
"If you would like, I can help you with your technique." Boromir stood up, and picked up his sword, which was lying on the ground.  
  
"Why not?" Emma replied. "At the level I'm at, I'm more likely to injure myself than the orcs we encounter." She grinned.  
  
They sparred against each other until Emma noticed that the fire was going out.  
  
She was walking over to the small pile of wood they had, when an arrow flew past her face and embedded itself in the nearest tree. Emma reached for her sword and stood back to back with Boromir.  
  
"It sounds like a large group. What do we do?" Emma couldn't see anything beyond the trees.  
  
"We'll circle around the fire, facing the trees. Do not let them get behind you." He replied, looking into the darkness.  
  
There were about twenty orcs that came out from the protection of the woods. They wore crude armor and wielded strange weapons that looked covered in blood.  
  
An orc came towards Emma. She screamed and stuck her sword straight out in front of her, completely ignoring everything she had been taught. The sword found a weak spot on the orc's armor and drove through the chest, killing the orc, and spraying Emma with blood. She winced, and pushed the body off with her foot.  
  
She continued the circle, killing only a few more, but injuring most of the orcs that came at her. The few orcs that were left fled for fear of their lives as dawn began to creep over the horizon.  
  
"You did well, Emma." Boromir walked over, wiping off his sword. "Most people would not have handled that as well as you did. Now, we must find the horses, and continue to Rivendell. We are very close." 


	5. The Curse

"Can we stop here?" Emma spoke up. It was a beautiful day out, and the ride had been a peaceful one.  
  
"We've made good time. Let us make camp here" Boromir pulled his horse to a halt.  
  
They dismounted their horses, and while Boromir went off to find some food, Emma sat down by the river's edge.  
  
"Holy crap." She said to herself. "Two weeks ago I was in Montreal. Now I'm in Middle-earth, traveling with Boromir to the Council of Elrond. And to boot, I'm a greasy ball of grossness covered in orc blood. Go me."  
  
Emma slipped off her sandals and dipped her feet into the water.  
  
"He said we'd be in Rivendell by sunset tomorrow. I don't really think anyone would be impressed if I showed up like this." She thought to herself. "Especially in shorts and a t-shirt." She grinned.  
  
Emma walked over to her pack and pulled out her dress. The blood was still fresh on it, so she decided that there was some hope of getting it all out.  
  
"I never thought, in my wildest dreams, that I'd ever be washing my clothes by hand." She said to herself as she scrubbed the dress in the water.  
  
Emma finished the washing and set the dress on a nearby rock to dry. Looking around, and seeing that Boromir wasn't in the vicinity, she took off her clothes, and waded into a shallow part of the river.  
  
The water was cool and refreshing, and after two weeks of horseback, it was the most relaxing thing in the world.  
  
"Emma!! No!! You must not be in the water!!" Boromir cam running out of the woods. "Get out now! It is cursed!!"  
  
Emma quickly got out of the water, paying no attention to Boromir's half- shocked, half-ogling expression, and pulled the now dry dress over her head. "What do you mean it's cursed?"  
  
"Many years ago, there was a great battle here. An Elven princess was slain in an attempt to heal her father. The river does not forgive easily, Emma, and lays its curse on all who touch it."  
  
"And what, exactly, is that curse?" her voice was trembling.  
  
"It is said that the cursed will slowly fade away, until they disappear entirely." Boromir explained.  
  
"Oh crap." And at that moment, Emma passed out for the first and last time in her life. 


	6. A Talk With Gandalf

"Good Morning, Emma"  
  
She recognized the voice slightly, but her eyelids were too heavy to see who was speaking to her.  
  
"Rhia told me about you, Emma, and we were expecting you, but not in this condition. No, not like this at all."  
  
Emma opened her eyes to see the shopkeeper sitting on the edge of her bed. She blinked, and the old man was wearing robes and a pointy, blue hat.  
  
"Hello, Gandalf" Emma said. "Is Rhia here?"  
  
"That, she is not. I do not worry for her or the hobbits. They are in good hands. What I would like to talk about, however, is your current situation." His voice took a grave and serious tone. "No doubt you know your fate already."  
  
"Yes, Boromir told me of it." She replied "But I think he left out some parts."  
  
"You are correct in saying that, but he did not leave them out intentionally. The entire tale is known only to a few in this day and age, but I will tell it to you to the best of my ability." He cleared his throat, and began to talk.  
  
"Because the death of the Lady was through violence, that factor shall cause the curse to act faster. Elrond has not the power to heal it, and the only way to cure the curse is to travel to Lorien, which, in present times, will be quite dangerous. Where was I? Ah yes. Now, the Elven lady was rushing to heal her father, whe-"  
  
"Excuse me, Gandalf, but who was this lady?" Emma interrupted.  
  
"She was the Lady Arwen, daughter of Elrond" he explained.  
  
Emma's jaw dropped. "Arwen Undomiel, the Evenstar? But I thought there was supposed to be a great love between her and Aragorn!"  
  
"Well, that never actually happened. Arwen wasn't the reincarnation of Luthien Tinuviel as the stories say. She was pretty damn ugly, and fairly obese. Glorfindel shot her in the battle, mistaking her for a Cave Troll. Nobody really missed Arwen, though, and the whole "great love" thing is a load of bull developed by Elrond to make his family sound better. Apparently, his wife left him for a dwarf, and Elladan and Elrohir have a drinking problem." Gandalf leaned in towards Emma. "And rumor has it that Elrond is a cross-dresser"  
  
Emma and Gandalf started to laugh. She found the whole 'cross-dresser' idea incredibly amusing.  
  
"Am I interrupting something?" Boromir stepped into the room.  
  
"Not at all, Boromir" Gandalf covered, while Emma tried her hardest to keep a straight face.  
  
"I should have warned you about it. It was wrong of me, and now you are paying for my mistake" Boromir looked at Emma, with an expression on his face that she couldn't place. It seemed to be one of sorrow and glee combined.  
  
"Do not worry, Boromir" Gandalf stood up. "When all who have been summoned arrive, Elrond will hold a council. A course of action will be decided on there."  
  
"Go have some fun while you're here. I've been in your hair for the past couple of weeks, and you deserve a break" Emma sat up. "Besides, I hear there are some lovely Elven women out in the gardens, who are rather excited about your arrival" She winked at him, and Boromir went off, mumbling something about his horn. 


	7. Author's Note

Author's note  
  
I started writing this story a long time ago, and then.forgot about it. However, I do have other chapters written for it that never got put up. Reviews are good, especially if you want more story! 


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